Coins needed to save cow with gas cylinder in school

It has been reported that there is a cow with a gas cylinder attached to it in an unknown school somewhere in Colombo.

One of the teachers of the school, Mr Mubey, says the gas cylinder belongs to him.

Business tycoon Mr LV says the cow is going to die if the gas cylinder is not removed very soon.

Mr LV plans to save the cow by throwing a huge amount of coins at the cylinder and blowing it up.

Principal of the school Mr Uncle says he cannot allow Mr LV to blow his school apart.

Mr Mubey accuses Mr LV of having an ulterior motive to get the gas cylinder.

Beg…… borrow……. Or beg a little more

Day after day, we weave, crouch, and slither across hallways and corridors to elude the Freeloader. One may wonder why we don’t bluntly say no, you’re not invited or find it within our cold hearts just to take him along; after all he is our long time colleague and friend of sorts. For the record let me just clarify that we have executed both the former and the latter but not to much avail. His unrelenting persistence and blatant bickering has resigned us to these vile tactics. We have unwittingly stumbled upon the basic human defense mechanism of avoiding an imminent conflict rather than confront.

It is often perceived that we are the breakaway fraction of the organization and we dictate terms in everyday affairs. It’s a common misunderstanding to say the least. We are what we are, not entirely by choice, but because our interests match and it’s a mutually beneficial relationship. We do not backstab (at least I’d like to think so) or like blood sucking leeches, we don’t try to drain the advantage from each other.

Undoubtedly we would allow him to tag along if he was willing to go Dutch. We would never ask any one person to foot the bill unless he volunteers to do so. I’m sure no one would disagree that these are reasonable terms, so wouldn’t any civilized individual except these simple terms and coexist, rather than push us to such limits.

You may ponder who this selfish and thoughtless person maybe, well I wont try to beat around the bush, this article is intended for a certain individual in our midst, but if this sounds strangely familiar, who knows, this just could be about yourself too. As the old saying goes, if the hat fits, put it on.

Bottom Lickers = Opportunists??

It has become a rather customary sight, to see a cluster of persons haunting the corridors each morning. Forced laughter, pathetic smirks and pasted smiles could be observed to kick start your day. I highly doubt whether they could muster one plausible justification to this morning gathering and the comedy that follows, or whether they really do find the ranting or the lame jokes or the brags, funny, amusing or interesting. It’s really pitiable and unfortunate to witness the top tiers of the hierarchical ladder make such fools out of themselves and the need to stoop to such lengths to impress.

However, a 180 degree perspective does rationalize their dismal behavior, as they occupy the apex of organization charts due to these ‘acts’. It’s quite difficult to finger an individual when the system compels them to perform such drama, in order for the ambitious to attain their goals and gradually climb up the ‘ladder’.

So now the question arises, does my writing this make me the bad egg or the rebel and the reason why I am situated way down the pecking order? I believe the answer to this is a most definite yes.

ވަކަވީތޯ

ކޮބާބާ މި ބްލޮގުގަ ލިޔާ އެންމެންތައް.

!! ކާކު ދިން ލަނޑެއްބާ

މާލޭގެ މައްޝޫރު ޓީވީ ޝޯ، ހޭޔަންބޯ އަކީ ވަރަށްގިނަގުނަ މަޢުލޫމާތުތަކެއް ގެނެސްދޭ ޕްރޮގްރާމެކެވެ. ހުކުރުދުވަހު މެންދުރު ކާލައިގެން ގޭގެ ސިޓިންގ ރޫމްގެ ސޯފާއަށް ވެއްޓި އޮވެގެން ބަލާ މި ޕްރޮގްރާމްގައި ދުނިޔޭގެ ސިޔާސީ ޚަބަރުތަކާ، މުނިފޫހިފިލުވުމާބެހޭ ކަންތައްތައް އަދި ޢާންމު މަޢުލޫމާތު ހިމެނެއެވެ

މިގޮތިން، ޓޮމާޓޯ އަށް ދިވެހިބަހުން ކިޔަނީ ވިލާތު ކުންނާރުކަންވެސް އަޅުގަނޑަށް އެނގުނީ މިޕްރޮގްރާމުންނެވެ. އަދި އަޅުގަނޑު ހަނދާންވާގޮތުން މީގެތަންކޮޅެއްކުރިން ކަޅުހުއްތު މޭވާ އަށް މިނަންދެވުނީ ކިހިނެއްކަންވެސް މިޕްރޮގްރާމުން އަޅުގަނޑުމެއް ޢަންމުންނަށް އޮޅުންފޮލުވާދީފައިވެއެވެ. ހޭޔަންބޯގެ ރިޕޯޓުބުނިގޮތުގައި މިމީރު މޭވާއަށް ކަޅުހުއްތު މޭވާއޭ ކިޔުނީ މިމޭވާ ރާއްޖެ އެންމެ ފުރަތަމަ އެތެރެކުރީ ކަޅުހުއްތު ކިޔާ މީހެއްކަމުގައިވާތީއެވެ. މިއީ ހަމަ ހަގީގަތްކަމުގައިވެސް ވެދާނެއެވެ. ނޫނީ، މިއީ މައްޝޫރު ރަންނަމާރި ވާހަކަ ކަހަލަ ކަމެއްބާއެވެ

ބުނެވޭގޮތުގައި ދިވެހިންނަކީ ޒަމާނުންސުރެ، ސްރީލަންކާއާދެމެދު ވިޔަފާރީގެގޮތުން ވަރަށް ގާތްބައެކެވެ. ރާއްޖެ އިނގިރޭސިންގެ އިސްތިއުމާރުގެދަށުގައި އޮތްދުވަސްވަރު ދިވެހިންނަށް އިނގިރޭސިންގެ ފަރާތުން ލިބޭ ބައެއްކަހަލަ ފޮތި، އަންނައުނު، ޗުއިންގަމް ފަދަ ތަކެތި ސްރީޅަންކާއަށް ގެނެސް ވިއްކުން މީ އޭރު ދިވެހިން ކުރަމުންގެންދިއަ ވިޔަފާރިއެކެވެ. އަދި މީގެއިތުރުން ހިއްކި މަހާއި ލޮނުއެޅިމަސްވެސް ސްރީލަންކާއަށް ވަރަށް ރަނގަޅު އަގުގައި ވިކުނު ކަމުގައިވެއެވެ. އަދި މިތަކެތީގެ އަގެއްގެ ގޮތުގައި ފައިސާގެއިތުރުން، ސްރީލަންކާގައި އުފައްދާތަކެތިންވެސް އަޅުގަނޑުމެންނަށް އެމީހުން އަގުއަދާކުރިއެވެ. ކަރަންފޫ، ހަނޑޫ، ފުށް އަދި އެކި ބާވަތް ބާވަތުގެ މޭވާފަދަ ތަކެތި ސްރީލަންކާއިން ދިވެހި ބޯޓު ފަހަރުގައި ރާއްޖެ ގެންދިޔައެވެ

އަޅުގަނޑަށް ލަފާކުރެވޭގޮތުގައި އަޅުގަނޑުމެންގެ ކަޅުހުއްތު މޭވާވެސް މިއީ މިކަހަލަގޮތަކަށް ރާއްޖެ ގެންދެވިފައިވާ އެއްޗެއްކަމުގައިވެސް ވެދާނެއެވެ. ކަޅުހުއްތު މޭވާ. މިމޭވާއަކީ ސްރީލަންކާގެ މީހުން ވިހައެކޭކިޔައި އުކާލާއެއްޗެކެވެ. މިފަދަ ދަށުދަރަޖައިގެ އެއްޗަކަށް މިވެރިން ކޮންމެފަދަ ނަމެއްވެސް ކިޔާފާނެތާއެވެ. މިމޭވާއަށް ސިންގަޅަބަހުން ކިޔާނަން ހޯދުމަށް ދެމީހެއްގެ ކައިރީގައި އަހާލީމެވެ. ދެމީހުން ކީ ދެނަމެވެ. އެކަކު ބުނި ގޮތުގައި މިޔައްކިޔަނީ ރާވަލަ އެވެ. ތިންވަނަ މީހެއްގެ ކައިރީގައި އަހާލުމުން، މީ ކޮންއެއްޗެއްކަންވެސް އެނާއަށް ނޭގުނެވެ. ކޮންމެއަކަށް މިއޮތީ ކޮންމެވެސް މީހަކު ލަގާއެއް ދީފަތާއެވެ. ހަމަގައިމުވެސް ކަޅުހުއްތު މީކީ ސިންގަޅަބަހުން މިމޭވާއަށް ކިޔާ ނަމެއް ނޫނެވެ. ސިންގަޅަބަހުން ކަޅު މިއީ ހަމަ ކަޅުކުލައަށް ކިޔާނަމެވެ. ނަމަވެސް ހުއްތު، މިއީ އަންހެނާގެ ކުރިމަތީ ފަރާތަށް ކިޔާނަމެވެ. ކަޅުހުއްތު މޭވާ ގެނަން ސިންގަޅަބަހުން ބުނަނީނަމަ އެއީ، ކަޅު (އަންހެހުންގެ) ކުރިމަތިފަރާތް މޭވާ އެވެ

އަޅުގަނޑަށް ހީވަނީ ހޭޔަންބޯގެ ރިޕޯޓުގައި ބުނެފައިވާގޮތުގެ ބަދަލުގައި، ކަޅުހުއްތު މޭވާ ރާއްޖެއަށް ގެންދިޔަ މީހާއަށް ވަނަމެއްގެ ގޮތުން ކަޅުހުއްތު ކިޔުނީކަމަށެވެ. ކޮންމެއަކަސް، ރަންނަމާރި ވާހަކައިގެ ހަޤީގަތެއްވެސް ނޭނގޭތާއެވެ. މިވެސް ހަމަ އެކަހަލަ ކަމެކެވެ. އެކަމަކު، ނަމަ ނަމަ، ގޭގައި މަސައްކަތްކުރަން އުޅޭ ސްރީލަންކާގެ މަސައްކަތު މީހާގާތުގައި ކަޅުހުއްތު މޭވާ ގަންނަން ނުބުނައްޗެވެ

Rise of the ‘Administrator’

For too long he has suffered this reign of gags and taunting. For too long he has been pushed around by his inferiors. For too long he has been denied his deserved post. For too long his main foe, the office kalhu potato, has gone around ignoring duties and sipping coffee.

His glory days will once again be regained. His rightful place as the Top Man will be bestowed.

Brace yourselves. The Administrator is coming for you. There is no escaping the inevitable……. Justice will prevail……….. Order will be restored.

This New Year, a Hero will rise................

Releasing office wide………. JANUARY 2008

Clash of the Villas

I feel it prudent to bring to light, a rather disconcerting event brewing within the peaceful walls of the ‘Villa’. According to the grapevine, a division has occurred between the ‘Villa Family’ of which the source is yet to be determined.

In any case, the apparent division has unleashed a rebel group, boosted by the emergence of a holy man; they have been harassing the dominating party with little acts of defiance. It has been verified that the rebels are targeting the food source, consuming it nibble by nibble, in the dead of night or in the wee hours of morning.

Reliable sources state that the Think Tanks of the ruling party had convened at the Oval Table to discuss the issue and have unanimously agreed to offer a treaty to the rebels to resolve the matter harmoniously.

It is believed that sometime during the course of the week, an MOU has been signed between the two parties, in the presence of independent peace keepers.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed that the agreement is upheld, and peace will prevail within the ‘Villa Family’.